Once upon a dream...

I had it on my heart to share this story again...

Written in my heart about 12,5 years ago, written for all to read on Sunday July 26, 2009.

Today's message in church inspired me to write about the dream I had years ago... I think it's finally time I write it down... not that I will ever forget, but I would like to share it with you all... :) I was 13 years old when I got the dream. I did not understand it at the time, and did not want to talk about it with anyone... There is only a few people that heard this before... :s (shame on me...) The dream: Thousands of doves were flying in the air. All of them were grey, except for one. That one dove was pure white and flew all the way in the front. A lot of the grey doves were following and listening to the one white dove, but there were some that were trying to get away, and if they succeeded at leaving the group, they would fall down to ground. They didn't even look back at what they had left behind... There was one dove that got my attention. It felt as if I was that dove, I always tried to get away but got pulled back by some other grey doves... I didn't feel in place where I was, but stayed because of them. Until that one moment, I pulled myself out of the group. I felt free, but only for one second, because soon after I pooled away, I felt myself falling and falling and falling... The one thing that was different about seeing this grey dove, was that it was looking up and crying about what it had left behind. I would always wake up before the dove felt on the ground. Almost 2 years after having this dream for the first time, I understood what the dream meant! I was 2 weeks away from becoming 15 when I heard the 'Easter story' with my heart open! It finally wasn't just a story any more! I understood that Jesus had died on the cross for ME! All this time, I was trying to pull away from the most important Person in my life! All this time others were trying to pull me back. And I'm glad they did! And I'm glad He did! For a week I was struggling with myself, what would I tell others?? Others that always thought of me as 'that Christian girl' when actually I wasn't. I was just following my parents' believe, not my own... Then there was youth camp. Saturday night, when everyone was in line for the one and only shower, someone offered me a bucket with water. I've never been a girly girl, so a bucket with water sounded just perfect for me!! :) I took it with me, and some soap and shampoo, to a little room in the barn. I sat on my knees and started washing my hair... And then and there I got this warm feeling inside, butterflies if you wish... and everything made sense! God had just told me the most important thing of all: "I love YOU!" I started crying and gave my heart to Him! Just a few day's after this, I got the dream about the doves again. But this time, it did have an ending. Just before I would hit the ground, the white dove came down to me and carried me back to the group so I could follow Him! Without being held by my beloved, but flying with my own wings and listening with my own heart. Now why did I never share this story? Good question, I don't know... Maybe because God didn't want me to use it until now, maybe because He wants YOU to read this right now at this moment... Or maybe because I was just to shy... :)